Because A Memory is So Much Harder to Embrace
by ThebigW
Summary: Although many thousands of years old, and wise beyond even that span of time, Washu yearns for something her intellect has thus far failed to obtain. A Mother's Day fic.


I don't own Tenchi Muyo, and am making no profit, etc... And yes, Mayuka has been added to the OAV continuity, because she makes the story work, imo.

&&&&&&&

Sasami was first, being the smallest. She hopped through the portal into Washu's lab and skipped to the closet door leading out to the main room of the house. Next came Mihoshi, Ayeka, Tenchi, Nobuyuki, Ryoko, who was carrying Mayuka, Katsuhito, and finally, Washu.

All had spent the better part of the day at the Mother's Day Festival on Jurai honoring the Queen Mothers Funaho and Misaki. It was a huge celebration for all the mothers on the planet, indeed, all mothers within the boundaries of the realm, but the queens were of course the symbols of motherhood for their people as much as the tree was the symbol of their culture. There was frolic, food and festivity at the palace and a good time was had by all.

All except Washu.

She found herself trying to keep a smiling face throughout the day's events, casting furtive glances at Ryoko every now and then when she thought the cyan-haired beauty wasn't looking. Everyone had been happy that Tenchi had convinced Washu to come along as they didn't want her left alone in the lab by herself. It wasn't long, however, before Washu was sorry she had come at all. Standing alone, off in a corner of the great hall, she observed events in that quiet, contemplative way of hers. Sighing, she closed her eyes as she crossed her arms, and considered her thoughts of just this morning, before the group left for Jurai.

&&&&&&&

_The years._

There were so many of them that they now collapsed in on themselves, like some cosmic magician squeezing an endless supply of cards out of one hand, across space, indeed, across the span of time, into the other hand, each card moving so fast as to become almost illusory. For her, a solitary year was an oddity now, having long ago lost its original meaning as a marker upon which to hang the significant events of her life.

She only knew her chronological age due to her application of dating technology which was far in advance of anything the Science Academy could even contemplate; she had used a sample she had taken of her hair in order to discover her truth.

_Twenty-thousand galactic-years._

The number sounded so immense then, yet she knew it was but a drop in the bucket from which poured the infinite cosmos.

'Age is just a number.'

She had laughed softly to herself at that old adage. Her childhood was still a mystery to her, although she was getting closer to those events with each scan and cycle of her _Entropic Stabilization Precognitive Reverse Localization Engine_. From a snapshot of current reality in all its dimensions, it could deconstruct three-dimensional time/space into its trillions of causative components, reeling in the years, so to speak, bringing her closer to where she originally came from, who she really was.

It was only a matter of time.

She gave another chuckle at her overly cliché-laden observations. Her brilliant mind had solved the riddle of string theory, as well as that of the unified field long ago; her computers now utilizing her proprietary algorithms to smash huge numbers, laughing at e-to-the-googolplex variants within the known universe as they organically self-taught, pulling probability from the wisps of infinity, both real and quantum. She had discovered, no, reminded herself, that she was _Chousin_, the realities of Tsunami and Tokimi, her erstwhile sisters, coming in larger and larger chunks through to this reality, thanks in part to her relative proximity to Sasami. She knew with near certainty of the great drama that would play out between the three goddesses; that knowledge forced her to work even harder and for longer periods of time in order to protect the universe from that coming cataclysm. Her loved ones _had_ to remain safe, and she would make it so, pushing herself to her physical and mental limits.

Her loved ones.

Sighing, she had stopped typing on the holo-top and thought for a moment before stretching herself out over her seat, long locks of red spilling onto the floor. She tossed and turned. Memories of her origins were murky at best. Her self-imposed exile from adulthood had originally succeeded in making her feel slightly safer, somewhat more secure. But the memories of _the hurt_ went deep, and although suppress it she might, no technology she created could eradicate the source of it. Ghosts of the original agony continued to haunt her, not unlike the pain from a phantom limb amputees sometimes suffer through. Damn the Kuramitsu family and what they had forced her to endure. Oh, the irony.

_Choosing to live as child in order to forget about her first child._

Many of those years following that episode had been purged in an attempt to salvage her psyche from the excruciating heartbreak. It hadn't been the same when Ryoko was born, the infant emerging from the gestation tank more an experimental lab animal than anything else. The scientist had quickly, clinically, cleanly removed one of her ova in order to create the child, and it had been as if she had clipped a fingernail, then. Indeed, Washu had been the one who gave the name that meant literally "demon-caller", due to the latent powers the scientist had implanted at the mitochondrion level within the girl. The scientist recalled that first time she picked her up in order to weigh her and perform other scientific measurements. Ryoko had cried out then, trying yet failing to focus those golden eyes on the one she could smell, the one she could _feel_ was her mother.

Something had happened to Washu then, the memories of that other child crashing through her long-standing defenses. Not able to help herself, she cradled the infant Ryoko to her bosom, the tears now breaking free from their prison.

&&&&&&&

Washu opened her eyes, and, looking about to be certain no one was around to notice how red those eyes had become, observed events once more. All the laughter, all the love, and it seemed that none of it was meant for her. The family, as did the queens, clearly understood the difficulty Ryoko and Washu had in maintaining a relationship, and took great pains to avoid the subject to protect Washu's feelings. It didn't matter. Using every mental trick she knew, she still couldn't shake the melancholy. Did anyone here remember that she was a mother as well?

This was a big mistake.

'I'll stay because I promised Tenchi, but I can't wait to get out of here.'

The hardest part of all was observing all the time Ryoko spent in conversation with Misaki and Funaho. Washu could not contain the feeling of sadness as she watched the three of them laughing and having a grand old time together. One would have thought the three of _them_ were related by blood. Then their conversation grew quiet, serious.

She was on the outside looking in, trying for all she was worth to appear disinterested. On the inside, however, she was almost distraught.

'Why can't you confide in me like that, daughter? I'd give anything if you would. I have asked for your forgiveness again and again, but it seems my pleas have fallen on deaf ears...'

Why couldn't Ryoko find it in her heart to give her another chance? Since that very first time they had bonded, Washu knew she had performed poorly as a parent. She had made mistakes of commission and omission, and in fact had even been quite cruel. As a result of that isolation experiment, Ryoko had almost lost her mind from the fear. Washu realised now that her past actions were due to immaturity or ignorance on her part. And the blinding arrogance that came with being the great genius she was.

Because she had failed that first time in protecting her son with her life, even, she had swallowed her pride and finally admitted all of that failure to herself as well as to her daughter. Everyone learned and grew beyond what they once were. If only Ryoko could accept that about her and give her one more chance. But Ryoko still didn't trust her, and on top of that, she had a streak of obstinance and just a bit of cruelty as well, which she likely inherited from her mother.

Washu was often reminded of her failings.

Now that they were all back home, Washu closed the portal and checked the surveillance video records, then completed her routine systems checks until she was satisfied that everything was as she left it. She almost chuckled at the congruence of her real life, and the once hidden metaphors that now revealed themselves to her.

'No matter where you go, there you are. Nothing has changed.'

She regarded her many experiments and inventions, tremendous achievements all, but her intellectual curiosity waned just now as her heart spoke to her of its want. She leaned forward onto the holo-top, crossing her arms and cradling her head on top of them, even now admonishing herself for letting this melancholy get the better of her.

_'The Great Washu. A Goddess, yet...' _

She thought, almost bitterly. Her musings were broken by Ryoko contacting her through their link.

#Washu, could you come out here please?#

This hadn't happened in a while, so the scientist was a bit startled.

#What... what's wrong?#

#The dimensional wall to **_Yukinojo's_** holding bay is acting up, exposing it sporadically to the visible light spectrum. Mihoshi isn't certain as to the exact cause. I think she could use a little help, as you probably know what just might happen if you leave this to her ingenuity...#

#Hmm. My scanners don't show any odd activity. I'll be right up to take a look.#

&&&&&&&

The shaft of light barely splashed into the closet door as she opened it when the wall of sound came roaring after it.

"Happy Mother's Day Washu!" Everyone chorused.

Washu blinked and had to steady herself, not sure if she had calibrated the portal to take her into the Masaki living room, or some other dimension by mistake. She slowly, almost cautiously stepped into the room, looking warily at the smiling faces around her.

Mihoshi, Nobuyuki and Tenchi were spinning noise-makers and blowing kazoos. Katsuhito was also spinning a noise-maker, yet the Shinto priest retained his dignity amazingly well. Ryoko was bouncing a giggling Mayuka through all the hoopla. There were banners and balloons, music and confetti, and the Juraian queens were both smiling, neither able to sit still, waving from the large monitor at the end of the room.

"Don't worry, Washu. We haven't all gone crazy", said Mihoshi, through a smile.

"This is all for you."

"I... Why?"

Ryoko, who had by now handed the infant over to Tenchi, stepped forward and placed her hands on Washu's shoulders.

"Because Misaki and Funaho helped me to finally realize after all this time that I only have one mother. And that even if you screwed up once or twice..."

Washu winced slightly.

"... you were only being Washu. I really have to thank the queens for opening my eyes to the fact that the reasons behind your actions originated from someplace deep within you. A place I'll probably never really know, but since it's part of what makes you unique, I shouldn't ever try to separate that from the rest of you. You simply can't not be you..."

Ryoko paused and blew a kiss at the monitor; the queens returned the gesture. She turned back to Washu, a more serious look possessing her.

"What is past remains in the past. I'll never speak of it again."

As Washu's jaw dropped at Ryoko's sage-like wisdom, the cyan-haired woman took the baby back from Tenchi as she continued.

"And Mayuka reminds me every single day that I'm far from perfect, and so I shouldn't expect anyone else in my life to be."

She lightly pinched the baby's cheek as she cradled her. Mayuka cooed happily. Ryoko turned back to her mother.

"I see all this clearly now for the first time in my life. And it occurred to me that from where I stand today, I... I could never imagine life without you..."

Ryoko was by now actually trembling. She had rehearsed this, but actually speaking the words and hearing them reverberate back to her was much more intense than she expected. Washu opened her mouth, but no sound came forth.

" ...and that I'll never let another day go by without telling you how much you mean to me and that I love you dearly. I'm sorry, something's in my eye..."

With that, Ryoko turned away for a moment to compose herself. The room fell silent. Clutching Mayuka to her bosom, she inhaled and exhaled deeply, reaching for and expelling the final traces of any animosity she might have still held. Mayuka gave her a toothless smile as she cooed, her little fists waving about. Ryoko regarded her tenderly.

"Thank you so much for what you've taught me." She whispered, as she dabbed away at the moisture on her cheek.

The former space pirate then turned around, batting golden eyes and giving her mother a smile that expressed all the love that she had finally found for her in her heart.

Washu looked around at all the other faces. Ayeka was dabbing her eye with her hanky. Mihoshi was sniffling, trying to stifle an emotional eruption. Tenchi had a broad grin pasted across his face as he began to applaud. Misaki was bawling into Funaho's shoulder, the elder queen trying her best to compose the younger, more emotional one.

Ryoko had done it.

She had created a crack in Washu's ages-old emotional armor. The diminutive scientist's mind spun thousands of scenarios as she read her daughter's face intently for any sign of subterfuge, some small, dark place in her mind still not believing that this wasn't a trick of some sort, played out at her expense. Millenia of habitual patterns gasped their last. The only thing she read in her daughter's face was purity of intent. Ryoko spoke softly.

"There's been enough hurting, mom. The time we have left together is so precious..."

Washu almost sputtered, trying to get the words out coherently.

"Ryoko, I... don't know what to say. This is... You've made me so happy. I just can't express..."

The crack grew into a chasm. Washu struggled to regain control of her emotions as she reached up to wipe at the moisture on her face with the back of her hand. The rest of the family began to applaud, following Tenchi's lead. As if on cue, Sasami bounced out of the kitchen with a cake that read "Happy Mother's Day, Washu", and in smaller letters underneath, _"We Love Our Mom away from Mom"_.

The family then lined up to embrace and plant kisses on Washu, the emotion in the room becoming such a tangible thing that Mayuka began to squeal in happiness at nothing in particular. Washu looked upon the baby, then back at Ryoko.

The last binding that protected her ego, held strong for five thousand years, broke in Washu's heart, and she began to sob as pent-up emotions escaped all at once. She didn't care anymore that anyone could see through to the real Washu.

These people loved her.

Ryoko then handed the baby, the catalyst to all this, over to the diminutive scientist, who clutched her to her heart, reveling in the waves of emotion that bombarded her. Ryoko then knelt to her level and grasped Washu about the shoulders, before nestling her cheek upon her mother's. Mayuka cooed. Ryoko almost whispered into Washu's ear.

"My mom."

"My... Ryoko..."

**&&&&&&&**

Happy Mother's Day to all Moms out there, from all of us who love you! And for those who have departed, we will never forget you!

W.


End file.
